Do women call you Baldy?

Do women call you Ugly?

Do you have bad breath?

Do women call you Shortie?

Do your ears have more hair than your head?

Do women call you Stupid?

Do women call you Loser?

Are you over 30, 40, 50, 60, or even 80?

Worst of all, have the women completely lost interest in you?

Do not despair.

Now there is a new "Male Beauty Product" on the market that will change all of that!

Thanks Henk for sending this great one!!

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word Perfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in Word Perfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type!"

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

"Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"…….Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."

"Dark?" 

"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't." 

"No? Why not?" 

"Because there's a power outage." 

"A power… A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." 

"Really? Is it that bad?" 

"Yes, I'm afraid it is." 

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" 

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

There’s nothing worse than a Doctor’s Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

An 57 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk….

The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"

"There’s something wrong with my dick", he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The Receptionist replied; "Now you’ve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn’t ask people questions in a room full of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes??"

"There’s something wrong with my ear", he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??"

"I can’t piss out of it," he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

Mess with seniors and you’re gonna lose!

1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.

2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.

3. The first truth is a lie.

4. You’re smiling now because you’re an idiot.

5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.

6. There’s still a stupid smile on your face.

Sorry about this I was An Idiot too and Needed Company….      

YES THAT IS A POWER CORD FLOATING ON FLIP FLOPS!!

This is so stupid it can’t be real, however… I have seen men do a lot of stupid things especially when comes to beer and food.

This one was send to us by Henk. Thanks a lot, it was a nice read!

Feel free to contact us if you have any articles that you want to share with us.

Dear Ted,

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help. When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbour lady making mad passionate love to her.

I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. He’d carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he’d been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don’t feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely, Susie Fox

Dear Susie,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the clips holding the vacuum lines onto the inlet manifold for air leaks. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburettor float chamber. I hope this helps.

Ted

1. Get a woman who helps at home, cooks and cleans up.

2. Get a woman, who can make you smile and laugh.

3. Get a woman who you can trust and who does not lie to you.

4. Get a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It is very, very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

I rear-ended a car a few days ago.

The other driver got out of his car.

He was pissed … and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said, "I am NOT happy! "

I said, "OK, then which one are you?"

It’s almost 2008 and it’s time for Fortune to create their already famous list with the 101 dumbest moments in business. I’m not copy-pasting the whole list here but if you want to view the whole list than you can do that here.

I do want to highlight 3 of them here on the World of Modern Men which were pretty amazing.

At number 8 there is KFC/Taco Bell with their rat videos.

Multiple video’s appeared on You-Tube with rats who are taking over KFC/Taco Bell. These videos where viewed more than a million times and where world news.

Free advertising via You Tube is great but gents of KFC/Taco Bell; you could have done this better!!

We are staying in the fast food corner but now with McDonald's on number 67.

Quote

McDonald's launches a "word battle" against the Oxford English Dictionary to amend the definition of McJobs, which the OED currently describes as an "unstimulating, low-paid job with few prospects." The goal, according to a company vice president, is to change the citation to "reflect a job that is stimulating, rewarding, and offers skills that last a lifetime."

Unquote

If I look at the local McDonald's here than it seems that the dumber you are, the better changes you have in getting a job there. So what are they complaining; it’s the truth. Why don’t they get a real job? Idiots!!

And on number 85 it’s Singapore Airlines.

Yes!! They got the first A380 Airbus, the world's largest jet. This airplane is simply amazing; it even has 12 private double bed equipped suites. If you fly from Singapore to Sydney you pay a measly $15,000 for one suite. The suite has only one problem; you can’t have sex in it!!

What??? $15,000 for 7 hours and I can’t have sex. That’s Ridiculous; you want to have sex on 15000 feet! Especially if you pay $15,000 for it!!

I just read an article on the

dangers of drinking….

Scared the Shit out of me.

So that's it!

After today, no more reading!